Losing Louie
by Sarrabr4
Summary: Re-writing Dawsey post losing Louie to his birth father. Matt and Gabby navigate through their choices as they move on to the next chapter of their lives


**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Okay so I know a lot of you are still mad after Dawsey was split up and part of me still is. I've been questioning my writing in regards to one of my favourite One Chicago ships lately because not having them on our screens was making me wonder if I still had the heart to write them. But this morning, a good friend of mine on Twitter, Tina, gave me an idea, planted a seed in my head and I suddenly became excited. She had faith in my ability to write them SO I decided to make a sudden re-write of part of their story. It'll pick up after they had to return Louie to his biological dad and it'll follow them as they try to move on to the next chapter. Hope you guys like it.**

* * *

Matt sat on Louie's now empty bed. He held one of his favourite toys in his hands and looked around the small room. He had spent days in here converting it to a kid bedroom after Severide had moved out, Gabby looking on with pride and happiness in her eyes and now it was all for nothing. The images of their return from Molly's after getting married, a sleeping Louie in his arms only to come face to face with his biological father waiting for them on their doorstep came to his mind. Their battle to keep him with them had started that night and they had lost him in the end and he had watched his wife's heart being ripped out of her chest by doing the right thing for the boy they both loved with all their hearts. He suddenly felt some anger burn under his skin and he roughly started boxing everything. He didn't care what kind of noise he was making but all he knew was that he needed to get rid of it all so he his heart would stop hurting so damn much, or at least that's what his brain told him.

Gabby stirred and ran a hand on her left only to grab nothing but sheets, Matt nowhere to be seen. It was only when she heard the noise coming from Louie's room that she sat up and tried to listen what was going on. She blinked the sleep out eyes and saw the lighting coming from Louie's room to accompany the noise. She stood up and wrapped her robe around herself and going to see what was going on. She found Matt on his knees in front of the small toy storage unit they had put in to keep the, all organized.

"Matt, what are you doing?" He was furiously putting things away in boxes and she could see the anger in the muscles of his shoulders.

"I can't look at them anymore." He wouldn't look her in the eyes but she knew that behind all that anger, he was hiding the same kind of pain she was displaying.

"You don't have to do this right now babe, come back to bed." She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms wrapped around herself. She hated seeing her husband hurting like that but she didn't know what to do for him because she was hurting just as much and she didn't know how to dig herself out of the hole she was currently in.

"I do, I have to." He insisted, putting some books in with the toys. When she saw the tear slip down his cheek, she knew she had to do something. She walked inside the room and kneeled down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay to be hurting Matt, God knows I am." His shoulder contracted under her touch and took a deep breath, trying not to fall apart in front of his wife.

"We were good Gabby, we were finally happy! But it can never last. Why can't the universe let us have a family huh?" She jumped slightly at his outburst.

"I don't know Matt but it's okay to grieve Louie, we don't have to pretend like he was never here." She forced him to his feet and made him sit on the bed. "Talk to me Matt." Talking had never been his strong suit but neither had it been for her but she was hoping to change that.

"When you told me you were pregnant, I didn't think I could be that happy. We weren't in the best of places but knowing that we had created a life together, life couldn't have been better."

"I was so terrified of what you would say." They hadn't planned it and hadn't even been together at the time.

"I didn't know what I needed back then but you were always it for me Gabby." He said about his life before her. "I wanted everything with you and I still do but it hurts so damn much. I couldn't keep our baby safe and I couldn't keep Louie with us. Maybe that's my karma, maybe I'm not meant to be happy."

"I'm going to stop you right there Matt Casey." Her heart had never hurt so much for him but she wasn't about to let him sink. "You are a good man and an amazing father. You've proved it when you took care of the Darden's and again with Louie. The boys thrived while they were with you and it's not a surprise to anyone."

"I had some help." He reminded her.

"I barely did anything." She insisted. "You did all the work and you have all the proof you could need of the influence you've had on them." Matt received regular face time calls with the boys and they had gone up to Milwaukee a few times to spend some time with them.

"I'm just tired of hitting a wall Gabs, I want us to be a real family." He linked his fingers with hers. He had the taste of being a father and he wanted more of it.

"I want that too, more than anything."

"I want us to try again." He said suddenly.

"Matt."She knew he was hurting and she knew his mind was all over the place and if he was just lashing out, she didn't want them to become pregnant like that.

"I know we have some emotions to go through because I don't think either of us is ready for that and we don't have to try right away but I want us to try soon, I'm tired of waiting for the system, I want us to have our own family."

"I love you Matt Casey." She looked him in the eyes and smiled.

"I love you too Gabriella Casey." They had talked about it and even though she couldn't use his name at the firehouse, she loved how it sounded when he said it.

"How about you come back to bed with me?"

"Help me forget the pain, please." Her lips were on his in a second and it lasted just as long.

She stood, their hand still linked and she pulled him to his feet. She pushed herself on her toes and kissed again, this time with more need. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her into him, pushing his tongue past her lips, deepening it. It didn't take that much convincing to move towards their bedroom and Matt pushed her robe off her shoulders and pulled the shirt over her head. He discarded it on the floor and Gabby reserved the same treatment to his shirt, her hands exploring his torso. He laid her down on the bed and they moved higher, their lips still attached together. He wanted,no, he needed to lose himself in her, let her love for him forget the pain his heart was in from losing their little family and as soon as the rest of their clothes were off, Matt pushed deep inside of her and they made love. the sweat formed rapidly on their bodies as they tried to let go of all their pain and hurt in their hearts.

Matt felt Gabby's heartbeat as he lay on top of her, the both of them trying to catch their breaths. It was comforting and it calmed his insides for the first time in the last few weeks. He rolled off of her and pulled her into his side.

"Thank you." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Thank you for what?" She looked up at him as she wrapped an arm around his waist.

"For getting me off the ledge, for not bailing on me."

"For better or for worst, isn't that what me promised each other?"

"We did but lately, I've been a bit lost without Louie. I didn't think it would be that hard to let him go."

"We both loved him so much. You wouldn't be you if it didn't hurt."

"You're hurting too and I haven't been able to do anything to help you."

"You can't be strong for everyone Matt." He was the rock at the firehouse and walked around with the certainty that he had to be at home too but now it was her turn to be his rock. "Let me help you through this and then we can start trying to make a baby." She grinned, suddenly feeling happy and hopeful.

"I can't wait." She suddenly lit the spark in his chest and he pressed his lips to hers and they kissed until they needed some air and they fell asleep, both a little bit more at peace, ready to face the next day together.

* * *

**A/N: So here is chapter one. It's a bit shorter than what I usually write but I wanted them to be able to have a real moment of honesty between each other. I want them to be more open than what we've seen on the show and hopefully give them the happy ending they deserve. Please take a few seconds to review, I love to read your thoughts and posting first chapters always scare the shit out me. - Sarra**


End file.
